David Gurba's Blog

Uncle Phone Call 06-10-2008

2008-06-12T03:13:40Z

I work on responsabilities for my uncle perhaps at least an hour a day. I have to call him regularly with updates on things.

Somehow I'm always shocked at how quick my phone calls are -- 1 minute, maybe 2 minutes. We both have to try so hard to speak concisely and clearly.

My uncle has come to expect my weekly phone call(s) and he asked me "when are you calling next?" and telling him "the weekend" isn't good enough. He has to know the day, if not the very hour. I really like that he has the phone. But, it's so much harder to talk on the phone with him instead of in-person. I can't tell when it's my turn to talk.

But he always ends with something along the following lines:

“be good. careful of the world and its powers, they're very great.

I have to call him again on Friday June 13th, 2008.

Uncle Visit 06-07-2008 Part2

2008-06-09T03:12:05Z

We had a relatively long day with my uncle today -- but today went very good as well. We had a contractor come over and some good progess was made on fixing up the place. 2 whole sinks now function again after years of not working! It's really, really, really great.

It wasn't all easy, but it got done. My uncle shared many gifts with my mother -- and even a few were perhaps pretty valuable. Most of what my uncle owns has little or no monitary value to anyone but him. My uncle mentioned to my mom that he'd like to visit Mexico again. Thats a very interesting thought -- airports, security ... I don't really want to think about it much right now. But, it's the only place I've heard him say lately that he WANNTS to go see. Washington D.C. -- nope. My home 3 hours away -- nope. The beach -- nope. If he really wants to go visit -- maybe it can happen.

Why does he want to go to Mexico? He reiterated 3 times very plainly:

I like to walk around Mexico. Because when you walk around -- and you look around -- there are alot of Mexicans.

Yup -- you're in Mexico and there are alot of Mexicans. My mom is 100% Mexican and my uncle is 3/4 Mexican (but was born with blonde hair and blue eyes). He lived in Mexico as a child and he speaks Spanish well. But it was rather funny -- I like Mexico because there are alot of Mexicans. There are alot of Mexicans in LA too. Heh.

My Uncle is apprehsive of the changes going on, but so far while it's been difficult it hasn't been impossible.

More information to follow. I've got various writings I haven't put online yet because I'm debating to make the information available to the masses.

Uncle Visit 06-07-2008 Part1

2008-06-08T03:11:05Z

Uncle showed me 2 metiorites from Griffith Park he found. Meteorites have a distinctive look, they are dense rocks with visible iron ores typically and often have very smooth faces because of the extreme heat during atmospheric entry. Each meteorite was the size of an orange -- these were museum quality display pieces.

We fed Osama and talked abit. An acquatenence of his named Al stopped by briefly and politely said hello. My uncle explained that Al was a cashier at the local Albertson's supermarket (when it exsisted) and that Al was in Gloria's (now deceased) class at Santa Fe High School. So Al knew my aunt Gloria and my Uncle. My father does not recollect this person. But, it was very nice to see a friendly face visiting my uncle -- if only for a moment (I think he didn't expect my uncle to have company).

I was pretty intrigued about Al and asked my Uncle to explain to my father who had visited. I know my Uncle does not have any friends. He once told me:

These are my replacements for human friends. They can be just as good -- they are very smart, moody too.

So I was content he has visitors on rare occassions. We also dropped off 2 chairs and overall had an ok day. The bathroom has a new coat of primer!

Uncle Visit: 05-30-2008 part 2

2008-06-01T03:00:04Z

Long day ... I have no idea where to begin to make this a short posting.

My uncle got mad at me today.

I'm sorry that he didn't receive his money the day before. I'm sorry that things are chaotic when you can't work out the contractors schedule ahead of time and have to re-schedule to next week. And, I'm sorry grandma is too old to help personally with money anymore. These 3 events are really upsetting my uncle because they horribly break up the mundane routine of his life.

And since I was there -- I suppose it's all my fault.

I'm not sorry that: I drove 4.5 hours each way to visit with him. woke up at 7:30am to check out of the hotel to buy him breakfast and take it to him. fed Osama some sausage attempted to offer him some cash to hold him over until his funds arrive. respectfully informed the hotel staff my uncle may stop by to visit. made a list during the week of of the 5 chores/items to do with my uncle. spent 45 minutes taking pictures and writting him the letter last week. that I tried to mediate through the above 3 events -- to ensure progress this weekend.

I was very upset when he tore up those papers to intimidate me -- seeing somebody tear up alot of paper at once sounds silly. But, you try tearing a phone book in half and tell me how far you get.

It wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't know when he was so mad that he didn't realize he was tearing up the letter I hand wrote instead of the bank envelopes he thought he was tearing up.

He said he was sorry once -- eventually. That he had torn up the wrong papers on accident. But still, now he can't read the letter or look at the pictures to write back. That hurt more than just being yelled at.

What he doesn't realize is that while he's upset with the situation -- that the situation only exists because various individuals care about him. Not because they want to bother, complicate or burden his life.

Perhaps I'll write some more details of today at a later date ...

Uncle Visit: 05-30-2008 part 1

2008-05-31T05:00:04Z

Friday LA traffic is the pits -- it turned my 2 hour commute into a 4 hour commute.

I arrived at my uncles at 8pm. He was doing very well, active and alert and very busy.

We spoke for roughly 1 hour before I had to go buy some dinner for myself since I had last eaten at 11:30am. Among some of the things my uncle said were the following:

We have a broken light across the street. It goes off and on. Omniscient eye. They're watching us.

Don't see many comets tonight. Murky sky. Milky Way.

I didn't write a letter because I didn't want to complicate matters. Overexpose hazards. If you write a letter to God, how quick would he respond? ... Probably not very quick ...

I had a friend in San ***** that was a radio announcer. John *****, sometimes used the name "Jack". Sometimes the radio guy sounds like him -- only sometimes. Yea, sometimes I see his ghost walking around ...

His world is very rich and vivid. Sitting on the curb I get to thinking what all the bright lights and passing noises from the street must be like -- their very own special language to him.

Take those sayings and multiply them by 1 hour and that's a talk with my uncle. It was a very nice evening with him waiting for another relative to stop by, the weather was tepid. He was very positive the whole time. The only crazy thing of the whole evening was that he was trimming plants ...

Trimming plants, sweeping, and raking at 8pm at night. It was surreal :P -- I can't remember the last time I was up at 8pm and doing yardwork.

... more tommorow.

Uncle Said 1

2008-05-22T05:29:00Z

This last weekend when I visited my uncle he mention he had been stopped by the cops. I asked for what and he said it was just routine -- I believe he made an illegal bike maneuver across the street from buying dinner at a nearby shop.

He then told me that many years ago he had been in the Hospital for a week. That cops will arrest you for the wrong reasons and people will treat you bad, people can't be trusted because they are synical.

Uncle said:

“

I was sick for a week ... oh in the 70's. I was poisoned. Nobody believed me that I was poisoned -- how do you explain to someone that your poisoned? They don't know what it feels like. They aren't you. They don't know. How can they know? Nobody believed me ...

What the simple quote above fails to convey is the firm belief that he was poisoned and the sense of loss or aloneness he conveyed in his experience.

Uncle Letter 1

2008-05-22T05:29:00Z

I wrote my uncle a single page letter tonight in MSWord. For the last 2 months I've been mailing him a postcard every week or so from my work primarily just saying hello, that I'm thinking about him and making small talk of my daily tasks.

In the letter I explained I installed the gascap he gave me and asked for advise on weight lifting. Hopefully he will get the letter and write back a little blurb in return. I left him pens, pad(s) of paper and pre-filled out envelopes the last time I visited. It mostly depends on him.

In addition to my letter I sent 3 photographs. 2 of the truck with the new gascap and 1 of Mushi -- my cute little guinea pig I told him about. He used to have a guinea pig named JoJo many years ago.

Uncle: 03-09-2008

2008-03-09T19:00:04Z

I spent the weekend in LA again visiting my uncle. I had planned to visit him next weekend. But, this weekend was special ... it was his 63rd birthday. So I went down unexpectedly.

Finding my uncle can be a chore. He is not always home, and since he has no cell phone and a bike to traverse the city I never know where he is or when he will show up at his house (if ever) when I visit. Thankfully, he showed up at his house about 3 hours after I arrived to his house.

I spent 3-4 hours each day with him. The first day I tried to see if his phone line was working because 1 month ago we got his account activated through Verizon. But, we are uncertain if the physical line into the house is operational. I am not an electrical technician but do know computers and basic wiring. I jimmied up a test line with an outlet and in 3 hours we tested the outlet in the living room, and junction box under the house and the main entry point at the outside of the house. My uncle was very helpful with tools, magnifying glasses, and flashlights to see things better with. I explained often what it was I was trying to deduce or debug with the land line, and he explained for 1 summer he had been an electricians assistant down the road so he knew some stuff about the wiring ... but wasn't certain how to fix it. All in all this was a very exhausting day because so much effort was put in by both of us mentally to try to figure things out. Perhaps more tiring for me because in my efforts to get something done I had to filter talks from my uncle about seasonal spells on the phone line or ghosts underneath the house. But, in the midst of all of his un-related thoughts was my uncle ... trying to help me fix his phone line.

I left that night somewhat disappointed that I had not completed the one task I had prepped for in the last 2 days (going to the hardware store and buying parts and tools to try to inspect the line).

The next morning my uncle was up bright and early and I told him it was time to set his watch an hour ahead because of the Winter Solstice (or whatever it's called). He then showed me a book from Home Depot, (Home Improvement 1-2-3)[http://www.hometime.com/store/b_0238.htm], his mom bought him years ago and it had 1 page on installing phone lines. That page has 6 diagrams on how the phone line works from the outside of the house to the inside of the house. He had me review it twice so better understand the intricacies and permutations in the process, so we could see how the work we did yesterday related to the steps in the book and understand where we may have made mistakes. He also showed me a book he had on simple low voltage circuitry (but it was too theoretical to be usable). I was very happy that amidst his rambling he has the presence of mind to find resources like these books to try and understand the problem better. Yet at the same time it's very saddening to know that almost no one could use the Home Depot book to do anything because the directions were so simple (like a "See Spot Run" book for kids). So that when the house has honest-to-god problems because its a 50 year old house ... a book like that simply doesn't have the answers. We need a contractor to go to the house ... maybe my Uncle can take me treasure hunting and my dad can help the technician work on the phone line. My uncle would only get in the way.

The 2nd day I managed to go in the house take measurements of his bathroom. His bathroom is my least favorite place to go in his house because its -- beyond decrepit. But, even then he helped me to measure the room by holding onto 1 end of the measuring tape while I read numbers off and wrote them down. Hopefully we can fix his bathroom soon (but the toilet does work).

My uncle also mentioned in the morning that the previous night he had been to (wienerschnitzel)[http://www.wienerschnitzel.com/] and had stopped by my hotel to the front desk to inquire if I was there. He said the clerk said no one by name was staying there (my hotel is ~500 feet from the fast food place he frequents often). This information upset me very much. I think that the clerk dismissed aiding my uncle because he is so dirty, smelly and unpleasant to be around. If you were to see a person so filthy go to your front desk at 10pm (or well into the night) ... you would just want them out of your vicinity and place of business. Next time I intend to show a picture of my uncle to desk clerk and explain if a homeless person comes looking for me at night ... please call my room and I will go to the front desk and retrieve him (that sentence sounds like it came out wrong to me, but what else can you do but "retrieve" him, can't bloody well have him walking around the grounds scaring tenants late at night who might be out). That was so difficult to hear from my uncle.

I was very pleased that he had the presence of mind to find me at the hotel, that for a moment he was not paranoid about the people around him, or at least focused enough on me for his paranoia to be irrelevant and to speak with someone and ask if I was in ... I'm just sad because the person he asked was an inconsiderate soul. If my uncle wants to see me at 10pm or 1am I will see him, and if by some miracle he wants to watch some TV or take a shower; to do something "normal". ... by all means let him in.

The phone line and measurements are the 2 big events of the weekend that I did with my uncle, spending 3-4 hours straight with him every day. I don't really want to talk about all his treasure, rocks and minerals littering his rooms, garage and property in every box and compartment there is. He showed me them all in a grand tour and explained so many fantastical things about them involving alchemy, magic and spells I couldn't begin to relate them all. He did show me 3 items from his tour in Vietnam. 1 was a picture he took of a huge explosion of a village being wiped off the face of the Earth by a rocket assault from about a 1 mile distance with his 35mm camera. The others were 2 ornaments. The first ornament was an vase he found 50 feet within a tunnel-rat hole in Vietnam. The other was a Tibetan deity figurine he purchased on the streets of Bangkok, Thailand ~1969 ... all three were pretty, terrifying and cherished at all once.

I go again to see him in 1 month. Hopefully I can take a friend along with me -- in my opinion 2 sane minds are better at tackling problems and can reinforce each other. It can be difficult for 1 person to work with a paranoid schizophrenic like my uncle ... sometimes you just can't find the right sequence of words with the right "meanings" to connect to them.

He was very happy to see me and talk with my for so long. He was very happy to have a loudspeaker conversation with his mom and brother for a happy birthday wish on my cell phone. He and I are very alike. We respect and cherish our time together.